Being a good parent is a job that necessitates a highly developed qualification set, stamina, and complete dedication to the job.  In fact, if we were required to send in an application to become a parent, I'm sure that the majority would not be asked for even a first interview.  As our society becomes more and more dependent upon social services, medical progress allows us to save the unfittest and prolong life farther than dreamed of, it seems as if all rungs of society have become ever estranged to the previously socially-imposed expectations of raising morally and socially conscious children.  This pampering (and neglecting) of the new generation literally begins with Pampers.  The median age of potty-training continues to creep up, with now an embarrassing percentage of children entering school without being potty-trained.  Throw-away society symbolized by disposable diapers, parents sweeping away every discomfort to the children (Pampers, child doesn't feel when the diaper is wet); from the very get-go we are creating children that are completely unable to deal with real-life situations when they grow up, sink into burn-outs when times (inevitably) get difficult, and are unable to be empathic to others (high number of teen shootings) and consequently display good manners to others.  If a parent spends time teaching a child good manners and respect towards others, a life-time benefit ensues.  And yet, even simple things such as teaching the child to chew with their mouth shut seems to be a chore that most parents are simply unable to do, much less teach their children about contributing positively to the world and creating rather than destroying.  

A good first step would be enforcing parenting classes for all parents.  Currently (in the Netherlands), only parents of difficult children are eligible for government funded parenting classes.  Having a difficult child, I became eligible for this class and learned things that I wish I had heard earlier.  Being a parent is difficult.  It's a job, and a trying one.  But most importantly, it's a job, and while it is possible for everyone to become one, learning to be worthy of the job is a process we can't ignore anymore.

Yesterday, I was filming footage (with drones! yeah!) for my new song, Lullaby.  We did this in what used to be (and almost still is!) a quiet and idyllic part of Waterland just outside of Amsterdam Noord.  On the bridge was attached a large banner protesting the plans to build mega wind turbines in Waterland.  In perspective, this is completely understandable.  It is already a terrible shame that a large swath of that land is ruined by gigantic electricity lines.  Every single inch of that is agricultural (and somewhat "nature") is used for some aim.  At this point plans will include an even more efficient use of the space by using the air/wind as well for energy production.  

Things are not what they were.  Which brings me to the following:  I was rehearsing my choir in a house garden in a little village called Beers.  Completely rural, this should be an oasis of peace and calm.  It was everything but.  A cacaphony of motorized vehicles and aircraft disturbed the entire 2 1/2 hours of rehearsal.  If it wasn't motorcycles overblowing their engines, or trucks screaming by, it was fighter jets, hot air ballons, and even motorized hanggliders/parachutes.  I was so ridiculous that it became comical.  

In 2021, the Netherlands now counts 17,500,000 people (approx), meaning that the preceding years have seen a population increase of 13%.  What is the real crisis?  The prolongation of life that we seek to harbor with the corona-restrictions have nothing to do with quality of life, and everything to do with quantity of life.  For some reason, we are bent on quantity, and have been so busy attaining this goal that we lost sight on the fact that quality of life on earth (for species other than humans as well!) has suffered immensely.  I see the elephant migration in China as an animal protest.  It's a protest march.  They won't take it anymore.  

Waterland is not waterland anymore.  Beers is not a rural village anymore.  Things are changing too fast to accommodate our need for quantity.  

The  time we live in is stranger and faster than any time that I have previously witnessed. My daughter asked me about the theory of time being relative, and I find it quite adequate to the current situation.  

Exponentially growing population = exponentially growing chaos.  The newspaper writes "is there any space left for carnivores left on earth?", alluding to the extinction and loss of habitat of wild cats.  While nature bleeds and disappears around us, two times as many humans are born than die each day , even in the midst of the current pandemic.  We can't even discuss this problem, because we are so busy extinguishing the flames of our exponentially growing chaos.  Climate change, species extinction, loss of fresh water, salinization of arid land, heat waves and forest fires, super storms.  As every day brings a fresh problem to be solved, we heroically focus our attention on each solution, not seeing the difference between those that set us in a progress trap, and those that don't (are there any?).  

Meanwhile, men in uniforms feel very important.  They feel so important, that they don't see the idiocy of their actions.  They don't see that they themselves have lost their humanity, that they themselves are the problem.  I dare say, they can't see that they themselves that the ones who have radicalized.  I'm sure that it's different for everybody, how they can relate to what I just wrote.  And some examples will be much more important than others.  And yet, as a butterfly can cause a storm, perhaps it is the small examples that create the most disturbance.  
​
Dutch policemen 17471 and 31314 are my examples of men in uniforms acting as incompetent, disrespectful, intentionally rude and condescending assholes.  They made me think of the Israeli soldiers who were mocking and antagonizing the 8 year old Palestinian violinists that I was accompanying through the Bethlehem checkpoint in 2007.  Same smug abuse of their position and misplaced authority.  

This theme has been brewing in my mind for a quite a while now.  There's a blog post somewhere below about this text in relation to the death of Pepijn Remmers, which was a shock that was felt throughout all of the Netherlands.  Here's a repeat of the translation: 

​All things have their season, and in their times all things pass under heaven.
A time to be born and a time to die.
A time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted.
A time to kill, and a time to heal.
A time to destroy, and a time to build.
A time to weep, and a time to laugh.
A time to mourn, and a time to dance.
A time to scatter stones, and a time to gather.
A time to embrace, and a time to be far from embraces.
A time to get, and a time to lose.
A time to keep, and a time to cast away.
A time to rend, and a time to sew.
A time to keep silence, and a time to speak.
A time of love, and a time of hatred.
A time of war, and a time of peace.
What has man more of his labour?

We are at moment in history where the impression of the passing of time is speeding up at exponential rates.  This is caused by the exponential population growth crisis, which goes hand in hand with climate change, species extinction, ocean acidification, housing shortage, drinkwater shortage, social unrest, and the current corona pandemic.  It is as if a convolution of world problems are draining rapidly, dragging down our capacity to mentally and physically deal with the possible solutions.  There is simply not enough time.  And we have caused these problems ourselves.  Knowing this, one might think that the only possible solution is to observe and accept.  To accept that we failed ourselves.  That we failed our future.  We cared only for the present, and we neglected the future.  There is a time for now, there is a time for later.  We are drowning in the now.

My next song is a parody of Mozart's concert aria "Voi avete un cor fedele."  This is translated as,  I know that you have a faithful heart. 

This aphorism is likened to how I view politicians chaotically attempting to hold the threads of civility together during this corona-crisis.  Little do they seem to know that corona is just a thin mask just barely concealing the much larger and much more important other issues that are threatening us with the complete collapse of society.  

Although I touch on various topics in this song, I personally think that the most important is the negligence of the older generations in caring for the viability of the upcoming generation(s).  The degradation of education due to corona restrictions and the mental damage imposed on youth is a key point.  Ample research has been done showing enormous rates of stress in the age group 16-24.  More than 50% of this age group is severely impacted mentally by the lockdowns and social restrictions.  The closing of elementary schools has had such a  negative impact on education, that researchers are afraid that no amount of extra funding will be able to make up for the lost time.  

My message is not a nice one.  I talk about fear and egotism being the drivers behind what I call mass hysteria.  But the politicians need to hear this message.  The Netherlands, as an example, is slamming down all resistance to their corona policies with water canons, attack dogs, and mounted police stampedes.  While I might not be outside physically protesting, I am not afraid to speak out though song. 

Politicians.  Wake up.  Stop the tunnel vision.  Take care of the FUTURE.  

Here is the translation
I know that you mean well.  
That you probably mean well,
in relation to the financial relief packages
and the restrictions to combat corona.

 But we do have some points to discuss
I'll start with the TOZO (*financial aid for independents)
We should have known.
All those crumbs?  You pay them back, 2 times.

That's a kick in the back, yes a kick in the back after a year of complete shit.
And who's going to pay for the rest?
45 billion.  Oh, I guess that will be the younger generations.
They can clean everything up for us.
Like the nitrogen crisis and climate change.
Now corona damage will be added to that.
Fear, egotism, liberalism overshooting it's bounds
and we won't accept death anymore.

No, no more kicking the can down the road.
We don't want to pay the bill when you all aren't here anymore.

So tell me more about that short-term strategy?

I know you mean well, probably mean well,
with all your attempts to battle corona,
including stoping groups from coming together.
But, we have some points to discuss.
What about health? 
All of those corona-pounds.  Mental damage
Depression, loneliness.

Collective insanity, that's where we are now.
Hurry up with vaccinations.
But don't dare to make them mandatory.
That goes against the fundamental right
of physical integrity.
I'm not livestock that needs to be approved,
so don't you dare.

Let those who work in culture, work.
And give us some perspective.
Don't put us in the last place again. 
Stop breaking everything over and over.

And, the younger generations will be our leaders in 30 years,
so don't let them down.
Let them learn.  In real life.
Because online education is worthless, yes, really worthless.
They need real contact.

I know that you mean well, probably mean well.
But what you're doing now is based on a short-term vision.

No, not again, not another lockdown.
Or news of other variants.
Get you head out of the sand.
There are other more pressing issues.
Like climate change!
But, we might already be too late.
So come on, stop looking away.​

God and Love.

Not believing in God can sometimes be paired with not believing in love.  Yet Eddie Izzard said something recently that stayed with me.  I believe in humanity. In the belief in humanity is innately and perhaps unintentionally the belief in love.  The interconnectedness of man, the invisible web that we just barely manage to grasp, even though we invented God to attempt to tune in to it; this is love.  It’s as though our mobile communications network are a tangible attempt to make physical what we yearn for most deeply; the wholesomeness and loss of ego when connected to the divine.
Yes, I can speak of the divine without believing in God.  I can speak of the divine, because music is the connection between ego and self, with self being the only part able to join with the human web.  For some the divine could be accessed by standing on top of the Grand Canyon, seeing the world from the summit of Mount Everest, or perhaps viewing the earth from the ISS.  My divine is felt, albeit very rarely, by intense musical experiences.  When attained, as in that the ego is completely cast aside and the mental antennae are glowing with startling connections, the emotional and physical reaction of the mind and body is so overwhelming that you can come away from the experience trembling, whole and yet broken at once.  The touch of the divine is an experience that is blazened on the hippocampus with a persistent permanence.  This can only be described as love.
I cannot trust individuals in the realm of love.  I can trust music.  In music is the love of humanity.

My next piece is entitled A wise old owl.  I was hesitating, because Daemon Lover could have also been an acceptable title, but that would have taken away from the essence of the piece.  This work is not about love at all, it's about life and death.
If you haven't watched the piece, please don't read this first.  Your own interpretation of my imagery is just as  valuable.   

So the question probably arises after watching this piece, what is it about?  And to be very honest, I have the same question, even after having lived the creation of this for the past month.  The texts come from three sources.  The wise old owl is a nursery rhyme, and quite a beautiful one.  It's a reminder to listen.  The second is an excerpt from old Scottish story called the Daemon Lover or the House Carpenter.  This text alludes most to the irresponsible wish to remain young forever, and to evade death.  The search for the fount of youth. The third is my own, and is partly inspired by Paul Kingsnorth, who at a certain point states in his book "Confessions of a Recovering Environmentalist," ... saving worlds is an impossible business.   I couldn't agree more.  The more information we have, the more people we have, the clearer it is what we need to do, the less possible it becomes.  We have landed in the ultimate progress trap, and the bill is being presented now. 

Most of the themes arise from a deep disappointment in current situation, observation of non-sensible behaviour of individuals and governments alike, and questions about our trajectory in relation to the past, present and future.    Starting with the last statement, the question that has arisen is what is more important, the past, present or future?  The part that always takes the shortest straw is the future, which is probably due by a combination of our inability to plan and act on a long-term basis, and our egoism and greed of wanting the best for the present.  

When one looks at the corona crisis, the most blatant conflict of interest is the protection of the weak and old at the cost of the young and strong.  The first is group is easy to quantify in in numbers and lost years, while the second group is impossible to quantify, because presumptions are made of their resilience, flexibility, and ability to catch-up for lost time in schooling and emotional development.  The result is a society that accepts zero risk, hence stifling the future in order to preserve the present.   This idea of stifling is imposed by the once wise old owl who so wisely observes and speaks less.  At a certain point, not speaking at all, thereby letting it happen, is acquiescing to choke the future.  I feel we have all gotten to a point where we just accept, and feel that our inner conflict is strangling us.  Don't get me wrong, observing and pondering is healthier than shouting out premature thoughts at will.  But fear, which is my next issue, turns pondering into dogmatic thinking that takes the life out of society.

The next theme is fear, and to be specific, the fear of death.  My brain has been wandering the halls of bafflement for the last 10 months and I have finally come upon the following conclusion.  Religion was "invented" to comfort mankind in the face of death and finality.  As a non-theist person, especially not having been brought up with religion, this realisation was really an ah-ha moment.  For some it might have seemed obvious long ago,  Sorry for my ignorance.  With the observation, the following can be concluded.  A growing population with a diminishing population of believers has found another religion; that of technological progress.  While bringing wonders, it has also brought us the ability to form the world the way that we see fit, therefore out-skirting the wiles of nature (specifically, survival of the fittest).  In our success and constant "progress," we have conveniently forgotten that death is the inevitable end of life.   When we ARE confronted with it, it is something terrible and heart-wrenchingly saddening.   When a virus comes along to "correct" us we refuse!  We shut down entire societies in order to banish the last vestige of that particular virus.   We shall prevail!  Mankind shall live to the utmost!

Almost eight years ago, I gave birth to my second child, my son Abel.  I specifically remember the moment, a few months afterwards, thinking that if I died, I would be okay with it, knowing that I had done the most important that I could do. Nothing (for me) could ever exceed the importance of what I had already made.  My voyage had reached its pinnacle.  I can definitely say that becoming a mother has made me accept that I will die someday, and that it is good.  New life can only exist because we die.  I am exceptionally grateful for the beautiful children that I have put on this world, and grateful for the joy that we have together, and the time that we spend together as they grow up.  Of course I want to be there to guide them on their journey, but if my time comes, then it will come, and they will be fine.

My song is about accepting, even welcoming death as inevitable.  Live well and do well for the world, and die well.  Don't live in denial as we do now.  The struggle that you see in the mirrors is the struggle that we face as mankind, as a society, with how we live and how we die.  Life without risk is truly no life at all.  Wrapping life in plastic will suffocate your soul, even if you protect your shell.  

The watching eye of the owl is not only a symbol for the "government" but also the individual who turns the eye inwards and struggles with the world.  The eye convolutes on itself, just as our brains struggle to deal with the levels of information that is offered to us on daily basis.  Simplicity needs to be found again to stop the bleeding heart.  

An acquaintance viewed the draft of my video and suggested that I get (mental) help.  I responded, if I need to get help, then so does at least 50% of society.  This music and video was truly born out of immense frustration, anger, and I dare call it....depression.  The situation crushes/ed me.  Making art is a way out.  I KNOW that most people are feeling this enormous depression.  I KNOW that society is feeling what I feel.  We are a society in need of help.  Are the ones who don't need it perhaps the ones calling the loudest to extend and intensify the lockdown?   So in a way, this music and video is a scream for the future, for the youth, for the children.  Let us care for and nurture the future in a greater fashion than we care for the present.  Let us put our engorged egos and fear aside and let us truly care for the generations that mean the most; our youth, children, grandchildren, and the children to come.
​-- 12-2-2021
  

Reading back, I can see a lot of negativity in my feed.  Apologies for that.  The mud in my brain that needs spewing out needs to be tempered by beautiful things. They do exist!  

Some wonder why I, being educated quite highly in music, want to work with children.  And I'll state it proudly and clearly.  I think that children are the most intelligent, exciting, fun, and talented human beings on the planet.  Their openness, their abilities, and their enthusiasm inspire me.  I see the potential for a better world in them.  I love introducing them to music and to laughter and love in music.  I love to see their lightning development.  Children are the future, and the future can be made beautiful through them.

This last week we got a message from my son's sport club that one of the junior members had died.  Without a cause of death I'm assuming it was suicide.  A picture of a happy, good-looking young man accompanied the message.  What are my assumptions worth?  Can this stifling depression that is rampant in society be justified for the "greater good?"  

I don't believe that we have control over the greater good.  And yes, I believe in science and no, not in God. 

All things have their season, and in their times all things pass under heaven.
A time to be born and a time to die.
A time to plant, and a time to pluck up that which is planted.
A time to kill, and a time to heal.
A time to destroy, and a time to build.
A time to weep, and a time to laugh.
A time to mourn, and a time to dance.
A time to scatter stones, and a time to gather.
A time to embrace, and a time to be far from embraces.
A time to get, and a time to lose.
A time to keep, and a time to cast away.
A time to rend, and a time to sew.
A time to keep silence, and a time to speak.
A time of love, and a time of hatred.
A time of war, and a time of peace.
What has man more of his labour?

Lullaby is done, and will be made public soon.  Daemon Lover is in the making.  After that, Omnia Tempus Habent.

An interview of Marli Huijer that appeared in the NRC this last week goes more in depth into the discussion that I feel is a very important to have at this moment.  She stated that if corona had happened 70 years ago, it would hardly have been noticed.  The reasons being that life expectancy was 10 years less than it is now.  If you add population growth to the equation (which she doesn't do explicitly, but does with numbers), then you see that there were 470 thousand people over 70 in the Netherlands in 1950, and 2,4 million now.  We have also eliminated many sicknesses due to antibiotics and vaccines, and we are not accustomed to death by disease at the rate that was part of daily life prior to 1950.

What bothers me more than overpopulation (which is part of this idea, BTW) and overconsumption, is the fact that we have been able to extract ourselves temporarily from natural processes, and are so arrogant to think that this is permanently possible.  We cannot face the fact that we are part of the natural world, which includes our dependency on the laws of nature.  Death, disease, hunger, war are undeniably a necessary part of human existence if we are to keep the balance with the supplies available to us to sustain our population.  A population that is exponentially growing and living longer lives while consuming resources at growing rate on a finite planet will crash into a wall so hard that far more casualties will be necessary to regain balance, than if we had allowed the balance to be found much earlier.  With all of our ethics, morals, and technology, extracting ourselves from nature might have been possible if we had immediately planned for the future by planning the maximum consumption rate and population growth.  

The conclusion that I have made in the previous months is that corona is not the problem we face.  The real epidemic is overpopulation, obsession with long life instead of a fulfilling life, and overconsumption. The last point is quite literally and uncomfortably seen by the fact that the obese are most susceptible to dying from corona.  

I have been reading extremely aggressive reactions from the older generations about the corona crisis, and I perhaps can attribute their reactions to fear.  However, it is also a certain egotism that radiates from their reactions.  Huijer states, "Je hébt geen recht op een zo lang mogelijk leven" which translates to "you don't have the right to live as long as possible."  You may have the "right"to a good life, but even that is not a given.  You have the obligation to do something good with your life,  let's put it that way.